Saturday, March 16, 2013

story problems for women

If Susan = 

3 forehead wrinkles
5 crows' feet
10 coarse knuckles
gets drunk at every party 
+
1 devoted partner
1 tolerable job
perfect teeth
very soft hands

and if Nancy = 

2 dark undereye circles
1 vertical frown line
100 gray hairs
flirts a little with her friends' husbands 
+
1 hot lover (no commitment)
2  interesting freelance jobs (no benefits)
glossy thick hair
a really sexy laugh

and if Martha = 

thin lips
crepey eyelids
rough voice
a flat bottom 

doesn't give a goddam about calculations
except for when she snorts at other women who measure

Solve for the winner

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