things i want:

wallace stevens

sappho

books on grammar

books on style

essays. on everything.

diaries. letters. journals.

to fill:

ABD

Doesn't really read well after M.A., M.A.:

M.A., M.A., A.B.D.

suddenly the humor is gone and it all just looks like hard work.

Also, no longer "Just a".

Now I'm nearly Ph.D. Or, nearly "effed", if we're going to go with the verbal cleverness.

maybe I just need more punctuation. I'll take out the letters and be:

Just a ..,..;... or: Just a ..,..,... (to match what I wrote above); or: Just a ..,..,"..." if I want to indicate that A.B.D. is not an official degree.

I think I need to have Just a N.I.,T.E, O.F.F.

The Department of Deportment

Say something funny to make yourself laugh. No questions - just do it! Did you laugh? Did your laughter sound like an ungodly cross between a bicycle horn, a wailing baby, a paper noise-maker and a garbage disposal?

Say hello to the very next person you see. How did you sound? Did your voice waver? Did it come out high-pitched and squeaky? Did you sound rushed? Uncertain? Irritated? Robotic?

Place a non-personal phone call. Call a telemarketer if necessary to show them just how annoying they can be. Does your voice have a natural and pleasing rhythm? Are there cadences to your speech or are you merely barking out words in a (sometimes) logical sequence?

Are you sitting right now? You can admit it. You are at a computer, after all. How is your posture? Is your back straight? Are your feet planted? Do you appear healthy, in charge, confident and poised?

Let's consider your wardrobe. How do your clothes fit? Do you know how your body is shaped? Do you know which styles flatter you and which do not? Do your sartorial expressions match your ethical, political, theoretical, personal, and professional expressions?

If only there could be a Deportment Department at high schools, colleges and universities. In this space, one could tell someone that her posture is dreadful, that she's failed to modulate her voice and, by the way, that pair of shoes? All wrong. Moreover, it would be a welcome - though difficult! - learning experience.

The ethics of presentation, style and discipline - in all areas - would be emphasized. If your laugh frightens people into thinking they may catch the whooping cough if they remain in your company, then perhaps, once this is pointed out to you, you could learn to change the sound of your laughter into something more appealing. Or, in public at least, less loud. If you could learn to notice the nervousness that characterizes your voice in certain situations, then perhaps you could learn to speak over and around the nervousness so that you can present yourself with confidence to make more powerful impressions.

random

I was going to have a lovely new post today (I've been thinking about this one for weeks, really!), but am sick, sick, sick! Leaving the office shortly for a day of napping, reading, tea-drinking and more napping. Maybe a nap in there, too.

I can't complain too much since I rarely get sick - and since I will probably recover by the end of the weekend. I am generally amazingly healthy and so have no right to complain. Still, I am feeling rather sorry for myself.

I dreamt last night that I had 2 blogs. The other one was way more interesting, so when I found out that I was its author, I was super-excited: me? that is me? sweeet!!!

I dreamt the other night of 2 glasses. They were so simple, such perfectly clear glass, free from all decoration, just straight lines and wonderful clarity. One was slightly taller than the other and they stood side-by-side on the curb of a sidewalk (of all places!). They were so beautiful together. But they weren't real, and in my dream I knew that. They were actually covered with colors and patterns and etching. The perfect glasses were in a vision within the dream and I couldn't see them otherwise. This was, strangely, a happy dream.

More next week. Really. When my writing is not so punctuated with spelling mistakes and grammar deficiencies. When I've removed the cotton from between my ears and drained the lead from my arms. Then I will write.

stay tuned ....

new posts are indeed in the works!

I've been busy being, well, productive lately. It's really strange. Good, but weird.
Note:

- I've been exercising every day - at least 30 min/day on the exercycle and a strength routine about 4/7 days

- I've been keeping up on dishes, laundry, tidying and even bed-making - again, every day.

- I've been menu-planning and eating real, wholesome, balanced meals ... every day

- I've been reading for chapter 2 of my dissertation - need I say it? - every day - doggedly crossing off chapters from my To Do list.

- I haven't yet worked in the time to work on blog posts, but I'm um, working on working on it ...

the combined power of incompetence and persistence

is a workable chart listing my reading list. After frustrating myself with columns in a Word doc, it finally occurred to me that an Excel sheet already has adjustable columns. Still, the thing took forever and I'm not sure if the 2 hours I spent on it were justifiable or not. Glorified procrastinating? Whatever. I just need to use the darn thing now.

In happier news, I am inspired to go home and make dinner. I have everything I need to make a satisfying pasta alla carbonara. Great big bowl of cheesy, eggy, bacony, peppery pasta goodness, here I come!

humdrum

Am in the process of trying to pin down a date for my dissertation proposal defense. It was almost there. And then almost there. And now it is just up in the air.

There is still much to do. I have a rather intense list of books, chapters and articles with which I'd like to be familiar before I defend this proposal. This list, luckily, happens to also be my reading list for chapter 2. The more familiar I am with this before the defense, the better I can discuss the project as a whole and the faster I can write a draft of chapter 2.

Though I submitted my proposal draft on Thursday, I have not yet begun work on that reading list. Dragging my feet a little. Reading will begin ... tonight. Yes. Tonight.

Yesterday I felt inexplicably tired. I find that days like that are rather good for completing necessary but dull chores. I put away laundry, changed my bed linens, scrubbed the toilet and bathroom sink, organized clutter. I baked 2 different kinds of muffins and froze them. I made four 1-serving portions of chicken with tomatoes and thyme and froze those for lazy evenings. I cleaned the kitchen. Organized the freezer (that may have been the most satisfying part of the day) and cleaned out the refrigerator. Exercycled. Went grocery shopping. It ended up being a wonderfully productive day, even if I didn't do any academic work.

To Do:
- Cull readings from bibliography for Ch. 2/defense preparation.
- Break them down into chapters.
- Include a nice, neat column for checking them off.
- Post that to this blog so its format can be admired. Or not...