breaking up is hard to do

Dear Wine,

you are no good for me and I don't think we should see each other any more. I think it's best if this is a clean break--don't call or write or text or email. I know how that will go: you'll say "let's just get together for a few minutes, just for one glass." Next thing I know, I've drunk you all up. Honestly, if I'm going to lose control like that, I'd rather do it with chocolate or cheese.

love,

the philosophotarian.

ps. I mean it. I mean it super hard.