Tuesday, December 28, 2010

preparation for resolutions

How do those of you without children, dogs, real jobs, roommates, live-in partners, medication schedules, yoga/spin/expensive class of choice get out of bed at a reasonable hour of the morning?

Is there anyone other than me who fits that category?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

we have turned

we have turned every one to his own way.

This year we practiced three times, each for several hours. We labored over the 16th note runs ("For Unto Us a Child is Born" really is the hardest). We practiced the final "Amen" the night before the event (and that is harder than the 16th notes).

About halfway through the evening, my voice opened up a bit and it was easier to achieve those Fs and Gs.

Toward the end of "All We Like Sheep" there is a bit that changes up the runs on "we have turned" and C and I went over and over that until we nailed it. Last night, however, I did not nail it. At the end of it, I second-guessed myself and went astray. More accurately, I just gave up and came in at the next measure. And I knew it! And we'd practiced!

Strangely, "Lift Up Ye Heads" was the chorus I sang best. That was a surprise.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


I fully support healthfulness and am happy to hear of others' success stories regarding improved health. However, I've never, ever seen skin that glowed. I think if I saw someone with glowing skin, I'd be concerned for them, and wonder if maybe they hadn't heard what happened to the Radium Girls.

Friday, December 10, 2010

already weeping

The thought that I will (probably) outlive Alan Rickman is just too much to bear sometimes.

Monday, December 6, 2010

breaking up is hard to do

Dear Wine,

you are no good for me and I don't think we should see each other any more. I think it's best if this is a clean break--don't call or write or text or email. I know how that will go: you'll say "let's just get together for a few minutes, just for one glass." Next thing I know, I've drunk you all up. Honestly, if I'm going to lose control like that, I'd rather do it with chocolate or cheese.


the philosophotarian.

ps. I mean it. I mean it super hard.

Friday, December 3, 2010

note to self

I have this fantasy of being All Set. Fully Prepared. Ready for any and all Contingencies. Although I am only a poor graduate student, I have been using loan money to purchase things like:
* a warm winter coat
* hats that fit my head
* warm woolen tights and well-insulated boots
* a bed and a comforter
* reading glasses (see right)
* wool skirts that suit my shape and fit my body
* a laptop and a netflix subscription (cheap gym!)

The idea being that, if I get these things now, I won't have to worry about them when I no longer have loan money to supplement my income. In a few years, when I've moved on to Exile U, I'll already have a warm winter coat, hats, tights, skirts and glasses to keep me All Set. I'll have a bed and a table and a desk and bookshelves. I won't need to get these things later, I'll already have them.

I am finding that I am nearly All Set. Sure, there are some things I'd like (a few silk slips; classy, versatile earrings that don't turn my ears green; a velvet sash or satin cummerbund. Basics like that). But I have enough shoes, enough skirts (more or less), enough sweaters. I am supplied with tights, with scanties, and with undershirts. I have more glasses now than I need (the old ones are still perfectly good for around the house). My kitchenware is more than adequate. It'd be nice to have a chair that supports my back and allows my feet to rest on the floor, but I think that's pushing it with the universe.

But if I am All Set, that must mean that I am Ready to Go. Which means there is nothing left but to finish my dissertation, find a job and become a Person. This frightens and disappoints me. I don't feel All Set. My feet are warm, I look put together and sufficiently polished, and my things have cozy little homes, but none of that makes me feel any more ready to be the person I have been, ostensibly, preparing to be.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

oh, and

Philosophical Investigations
Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus

and maybe something Christmas-y?

or not.