and i did it. had the biopsy. the valium helped immensely. as did the alcohol afterward. i didn't even cry. it was uncomfortable. and it did indeed feel rather like a menstrual cramp afterward. could i do it again? only with a friend and only with drugs. but i think i could do it. oh, and that stress ball was helpful too.
it was encouraging to meet a friend for an early breakfast before hand. to eat a swedish pancake. to have chance encounters with two friends on my way to breakfast and to feel even more a part of a community. it was soothing to enjoy such pleasant weather today. to walk around in sunshine and cool breezes while the morning is not yet old. it was bittersweetly comforting to lose control of my body in order to gain control of it - by taking a sedative drug, i was able to relax just enough to make my body endure the (short) procedure. and it was perfect to have a hug.
feeling a bit exhausted. will read and go to bed early. will hopefully wake up early and begin being productive again tomorrow.