When I was small(er) I wanted to be many things. I was going to be a writer, a singer, a lawyer, a missionary, and maybe a doctor. All together. By the time I got to high school, my employment goal was to become a pastor's wife and have babies and sing in the choir and lead women's ministries and maybe homeschool my kids. In college I had no clue what to be when I grew up and decided to become a grad student instead, and so I have been for the past eight years.
I have just begun to think that perhaps my ten year old self had a clue. Lately my ideal employment arrangement includes freelance work, adjunct or part time teaching, writing, and possibly some additional part time employment. Some have asked, "What about health insurance?" I'm not too concerned. So I'll have to buy some sort of health insurance or just pay out of pocket for my health care. I'm okay with that. Next they ask about retirement. Yeah, eventually I'll set something up (after I'm out of school; it's out of the question now).
When I think of my future in this way, it stops feeling so oppressive. When I think of my future employment plan as a patchwork of several things I enjoy, the things I am doing now feel like preparation for my future. For the first time since I was about ten, I sense a feeling that might be the beginning of excitement about my life as a grownup. This is encouraging. This might help me to write the dissertation.